The bit-tech Cheesecake Supertest 2

Verdict

Harry: Isn’t it weird that of all the cheesecakes we have here we actually seem to be preferring the ones which aren’t so cheesecakey; the Gü Choc and Vanilla one and the light and fluffy lemon. They veer so much from the usual cheesecake standard that I have to ask; might it be that we just don’t like cheesecake?

Rich: Let’s choose a new food next year. Suggestions in the forums, please.

Alex: I think it’s because it’s actually quite hard to make a good cheesecake. All the cheap ones are just loaded up on sugar and lard, which is what most of the supermarkets do.

Joe: Lard and sugar talk isn’t making me feel any better, Alex…

Alex: It’s not just honest lard and sugar either. It’s not just a bag of sugar and a lump of butter.

Joe: Oh, so it’s evil sugar?

Alex: That’s why it’s called an E number. E for Evil.


Joe: Do you think you could flavour cheesecakes to taste of other things, like meat? Like a bacon flavoured cheesecake?

Harry: You mean a savoury cheesecake? I think a savoury cheesecake would go down quite nicely.

Joe: Did you know you can get bacon flavoured envelopes now?

Alex: Look at these culprits in the Sainsbury’s cheesecake. You’ve got, as well as cream and medium fat soft cheese which is what cheesecake should be made out of, you’ve got low fat fromage frais, sour cream, vegetable margarine, rapeseed oil, wheatflour, cornflour. There’s more. It’s all there to just bulk it up.

Clive: That’s true for the Waitrose light and creamy lemon one too. You’ve got low fat cheese, cornflour stabilisers, pasteurised free range eggs, single cream, whipped cream, sour cream, whipped cream, dried skimmed milk, pork gelatine. It’s not just cheese and sugar.

Harry: There’s no doubt about there being some super-stodgy, bulked up cheesecakes here. The light and fluffy one though…


Joe: That’s the one which has been most eaten. Half of it is gone.

Rich: And that’s just you, Joe.

<Joe puts down the fork, sadly>

Alex: Would you be able to guess which would win based on the packaging?

Clive: The two Waitrose cheesecakes look very similar, but I thought the berry cheesecake was horrible. The light and fluffy one though, I think that’d be a nice way to end a Christmas meal – just to bring out this nice and light pudding that’s all refreshing.

Joe: I don’t know where this idea has come from that a cheesecake is a nice way to end Christmas lunch. You’ve just consumed your weight in stodgy potatoes and sprouts and turkey and gravy…here, have some lard and sugar. No way that'd be appealing.

Harry: The irony is that, with this content going out on Christmas day, none of the shops will be open anyway.

Joe: I guess this was all a bit pointless then.

Merry Christmas everyone! There was more to our cheesecake testing, including lots of comparison of cheesecakes to football teams, but you can pick up the extras in the cheesecake podcast. Until then, have a very happy Christmas and let us know your thoughts in the forums.